The Countdown Begins

So we're past the half way point. Summer is officially winding down, and the countdown to moving back has begun. 32 days..This may seem like a long time to some, but to me it will be the shortest 32 days of my life. My summer's end is chock full of places to go, people to see, errands to run, supplies to buy, bank accounts to deplete and things to pack. No, a month is not a lot of time at all.

It's not as if I don't want to go back. I'm just suffering the same anxiety that comes to every student when summer ends. You know, when swim suit racks are replaced with sweater sets, when beach bags are replaced with back packs, when adventure novels are replaced with textbooks. I almost cried when I saw a "Back to School Sale" sign in the window of a store in the mall.

For me this anxiety seems extremely poignant when I think about having to once again pack up and move out away from home. I've done this routine before, and have never liked it. Once I get to school I'm fine, but the days leading up to the move are definitely stressful, not to mention emotional. The fear of living with someone new, budgeting my money, holding down a new part time job, making a car payment, even doing my own laundry and making my own dinner sets in. Ridiculous fears that I should be over because I've done it all before, (with the exception of a car payment, and the job) so why can't I face them?

I think it all comes down to this...I like living at home. There, I said it. I am not the type of person who will go crazy if I don't move out. Of course I like living on my own away from home, but I wouldn't kill over if I had to stay at home. So if I feel this way why not just stay? Because I need the experience. It is good for me to do hard things. There are so many lessons I still need to learn and I can't learn them if I don't go out on a limb and try something new. Even if I'm doing it alone.